A funny for Friday

You know, I get about 3gazillion (3gazillion - that's a three followed by a billion zeros for those of you that aren't familiar with how much 3gazillion is) jokes emailed to me every week. Most of them aren't funny, a few are what you would call "groaners", but once in a while I get a good one. I just have to share it.

It goes something like this:

A big-city lawyer went duck hunting out in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this . . . with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow patty.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said: "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Oh my goodness, I just crack myself up somethimes.

I am knitting on something, I plan on having it finished this weekend. If it works out the way I want it to I will post some pictures. I am not working with a pattern, though, so it could just as easily go badly.

Please take a second to answer the poll I have added to my sidebar and by all means encourage others to answer it too.

Have a good weekend!!!

Any time of the day???

I saw this on Stitch-ay Woman's blog

You Are an Afternoon Person

You can find energy any time of the day ... or night! You prefer to be out and about when most other people are. Very early mornings or very late nights aren't really your thing. You're practically solar powered, and the afternoon is when do best.

Are You a Morning Person or Night Person?

I definitely am an afternoon person, they got that part right. To say, though, that I can find energy anytime of the day might be stretching it just a little.

Some people are just always thinking of others

I wish I could be more like that. I would like to be able to look past my own "problems" and do something to cheer someone else.

Marianne can do that, she is, in fact, very good at doing that. Despite the fact that she is trying to pack and move two separate households, I got a very sweet card and some pretty stitch markers from her on Friday. (The picture sucks, I didn't have my camera and had to use my phone.)


They came at the perfect time. I was having a complete melt-down, prozac moment, freak-out, breakdown, whatever...it was a bad day...choose your own label. My husband always says that I am the "brother" in my family, we don't have any real brothers and I was always the tom-boy, the scrapper, the tough one (again, choose your own label). I have never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve, or let anyone know that I was worried or scared or that my feelings had been hurt. Because of that, the people around me don't really know what to do on those ocassions when I do have one of those melt-downs. It just made for a bad day for anyone in my path.

Anyhoo, I want Marianne to know that her little act of kindness was a bigger deal than she would imagine. Not only is she kind, thoughtful, and generous, but her timing is perfect. She tells me that those stitch markers come in very handy when one is knitting lace...we'll have to see about that.

There's a bag lady born every minute

Here is a picture of my sister, Beth (left) and her friend Dona with their first felted bags ever. I bet these are not the last ones they make.

OMG! It's been over 48 hours without rain!!!

Holy smokes I can't believe it. I am speechless.

A well deserved thank you

My No Sheep For You partner (still unknown to me) sent me a very pretty skein of King Tut Cotton this weekend. The label lists the color as #310, but it looks like ballet slipper pink to me. It is very pretty, I will have to find just the perfect thing to make with it.


Thanks again!!
And now for the Oklahoma weather report for Monday afternoon 07/16/2007:



Yes, I was driving and taking pictures at the same time again.

My first fair isle project is complete

I stepped waaayy out of my comfort zone on this one. I knew that this pattern was obviously fair isle and I was ready to jump in and learn. But this pattern employed several techniques that I had little or no experience.

First, of course, was the fair isle. I loved it every minute of it and will do it again. There was a provisional cast on that I had seen Marianne do it before but had never done it myself. I will definitely use this again, it was not hard to figure out and the results are soooo much prettier than picking up stitches. Then, I had to use DPNs to knit the strap. I am still not a huge fan of this method, but I am no longer afraid of it. Lastly, there was an attached I-cord. This was another technique that I had never used before, but will use again.

If I had been able to read this pattern before I bought it, I probably wouldn't have. I certainly am glad that I did. I learned a lot of new stuff and got a really cute new purse out of the deal.

Here she is:

And the inside:


The pattern is the Lexi bag from Knitwhits.

Happy 4th of July

I hope everyone is enjoying a safe and happy 4th of July.

I have been doing a little knitting the last few days and here is photographic proof:



A baby gift. I t is just a simple garter stitch blanket knit on the bias. I am using a crazy scarf yarn that I wouldn't ordinarily use, but it was so soft and I fell in love with the colors. Also it is super bulky, so I thought this would be a quick, fast and in a hurry baby gift...until I got sidetracked by this:



This is my first real attempt at fair isle and OMG I am having so much fun with it. I have been afraid of it until now and I just decided to quit being such a baby and do it. Before I finish the pattern I am going to have to face another of my demons, DPNs!!! (gasp) I hope my enthusiasm for the finished project wins out over my fear of DPNs.

Rainy days and Mondays

Some people can knit on two projects at the same time, me, I can drive and take pictures. Maybe someday I will see if I can chew gum at the same time too.




Princess Madeline has pneumonia (sp?), she feels at least as bad as she looks, poor kid.