I woke early this morning, about 6:ooam-ish, we watched a little news and had some waffles and a little coffee, things were going well, we were going about starting our Saturday. Then, the clutz that I am, was attempting to walk and carry things in my hands and talk at the same time. I may have even been trying to chew gum, I don't know, but a series of unfortunate events resulted in a US 7 (4.5mm) bamboo knitting needle getting stuck (about 2" of it) in my left heel.
Here's how the conversation went:
Robert: Oh jeez.
Amy: I can't pull it out, you pull it out.
Robert: I don't think we should pull it out, I'm taking you to the ER.
Amy: I can't walk, pull it out.
Robert: I don't think we should pull it out, I'll carry you.
Amy: It hurts, pull it out.
Robert: (grasping the knitting needle like he is considering pulling it out) I can't get ahold of it, it's slick, I don't think we should pull it out, I'm taking you to the ER.
Amy: Bobby, it hurts, please pull it out.
Robert: (reluctantly) OK, Let me get something to get ahold of it.
He leaves the room and comes back with some pliers.
Robert: (grasping the knitting needle with the pliers) This is not a good idea, we should go to the ER...are you ready?
Amy: (takes a deep breath) Yes
With one smooth motion Robert swiftly removes the knitting needle and Amy feels instant relief.
Amy: (suddenly feeling flush) I'm gonna faint.
Robert: Lie down
Robert holds Amy's feet higher than her head, at the same time applying pressure to the wound on her foot. After a few minutes the nausea subsides and the color returns to Amy's face.
Robert: Are you OK?
Amy: Yeah, thank you.
Robert: I peed a little bit.
So, how was your Saturday?